Only the Lonely
By Ryan Tran It can sometimes feel like a lonely world out there for a gay Asian man, even long before a pandemic kept us apart. Like many queer folks, I struggled coming to terms with my sexual orientation in middle school and throughout high school. It was hard seeing my classmates pair up on dates, while giving excuses like “I didn't have time” or “that pretty girl wasn’t my type”. But all I really wanted was to have that first kiss, hold hands, and go on cute walks in the park with a handsome guy. I desperately craved having that first relationship with someone and to shower them with all my pent up love. I laid in bed imagining what it felt like to cuddle with a warm body as I fell asleep. It seemed so easy for my straight peers to find someone to date, but as queer folks we felt largely invisible. The beginnings of loneliness started in adolescence, but it didn’t end there. A lot of queer folks come out of the closet and expect to be welcomed with open arms when they finally venture into the LGBTQ community. I expected the same too, but instead I would find more hurdles and fences. We see people divided into tribes, cliques, and groups that force us into boxes and labels. For someone who is still grappling with who they are, how are they supposed to know what tribe they should be a part of? After feeling like an outsider growing up, we tend to assume that we’ll finally feel like we belong when we first step into the LGBTQ community. Where you first step into can really impact how you meet new people and who you meet [...]